What people say when you tell them you want to try for a baby in your own

Hello,

So I've been really lucky I think in that my family and friends are supportive of my decision to try and have a baby by myself. However that doesn't stop 'helpful' comments regularly being suggested as advice. Examples include:

• Are you sure? 
• Why don't you wait until you meet someone?
• Have you thought about adoption?
• You could still meet someone?
• Why don't you go out and meet someone if you want a baby?
• Wow that's expensive - why not have a one night stand?
• I can't understand why you haven't met someone?
• It's going to be really difficult
• What will you tell the child? 
• Do you just want to borrow mine for the day?
• How will you cope?
• Do you not like men in that way?
• Are you sure you want children- it's tough
• Have you thought about the child not having a dad?

And so on. I know it's probably being said with the right intention but I wonder whether they would say this to someone who married (why try to have a baby just adopt!) or to a mother who was going to split up with her partner ( won't they miss having a dad?) or just questioning why now ( are you sure?)

I have thought so long and hard and got myself into knots about it but I know it's the right thing. I don't want to meet someone and be with them just to have a child - when I meet the one I want to spend my life with I want it to be for love. Not my biological clock. And I don't want to miss the chance to have a child while I wait.

I also get puzzled at the suggestion to go and have a one night stand because 1) I don't want to dupe any man 2) I don't want risk of STIs 3) I am not sure it would make my child feel and better knowing I had one night stand to conceive 4) I wouldn't know the type of person they are and don't want someone in my life for 18 years that I would never pick for a partner.

But to reassure anyone who is thinking about this and telling people, there have been positive comments as well such as:

• I know someone who has done it and wish they had decided to do it sooner
• You can do it
• I know you will be a good mum
• How exciting
• I have my fingers crossed
• You get all sorts of families these days - there is no such thing as 'normal'
• Can I do anything to help? 

Overall what has struck me is the amount of people who know of someone who has done this so actually it's not a huge shock to them as something very different. I also keep seeing the odd article in newspapers about it so gradually it seems to be becoming more known about and - dare I say it - acceptable? 

Of course what matters to me is what I mentioned at the beginning of this blog - my family and friends support me. I know this isn't always the case and I feel blessed with the support :) xxx

Ps let me know if I've missed any other of the regular statements that have been said to you whe you have mentioned it to people. Xxx